Tender Mercy 4: An Unwanted Answer

Texas.

I barely remembered anything about it, it had been so long since we lived there. I remembered visiting relatives a few times, and I knew that it was really far away from all my friends in Utah.

And now, my parents were telling us we might move there.

I didn't want to move. I didn't want to leave my school or my ward, or the community theatre I'd gotten involved in. Life was great where we were! Why would we move?

"It's a better job for your dad,"  was the answer, but it wasn't one I was really satisfied with. I didn't see why he needed to change his job if we were perfectly happy where we were.

Saturday night, Mom and Dad gathered us into the living room. "We're going to fast together tomorrow and ask Heavenly Father if this is what we're supposed to do," they said.

Okay, I thought, If it's what He wants, I'll do it.

But even as I thought those words, I was sure it couldn't possibly be what He wanted.

The next day, we said a prayer as a family to start our fast in the morning. Being ten years old, it was my first time really fasting, but this was a serious matter, so I took it seriously. Even when my younger siblings snacked, I didn't, because I wanted to make sure my parents got the right answer - which, of course, was that we were supposed to stay in Utah.

Finally, the time came to break our fast. We knelt down, and my father offered the prayer. As he said "Amen," I immediately felt my eyes well up with tears.

Heavenly Father wanted us to move.

In that moment, I knew that as surely as I knew my own name.

And I was not happy about it.

But I'd told myself that, if it was what Heavenly Father wanted, I would do it. So I didn't fight it anymore, and instead tried to prepare myself for the change.

15 years later, looking back on that moment, I can see how it changed my life forever. I wouldn't be the person I am today if we'd stayed in Utah, and I don't think my family would be as close as we are. It was hard, but as was said in General Conference, hard is good.

I am grateful that Heavenly Father gave me an answer I didn't want, so that He could give me something better than I had imagined.